Straight Back Up

Mr Kenny hopes to be back

In the bar on Friday night, Rory reproached me for not having written anything since the sad end of Charlton's 7-year sojourn in the Premiership was confirmed, as a result of Monday's 0-2 defeat to Tottenham. But as I pointed out to him, what is there to say that isn't being said already? I have never claimed to be a match-reporting blog, as I am not located in the UK, and I have also stated on various occasions that telling the world that I am happy just because Charlton have won, or sad because they haven't, is not an interesting topic to write about, whatever the BBC might think, with their irritating habit of creating non-news stories out of things we already know or can readily assume.

(Today's specials include "D-Day arrives for Premiership trio", which tells us little more, when you think about it, that today is the last day of the season and three clubs are still involved in relegation, which people logging on to the page will already know, and they also report that Billy Davies is pleased that Derby beat Southampton yesterday, but as Mr Davies is Derby's manager, I can hardly see the point of mentioning that, either.)

So I fought shy of any kind of impulsive reaction to the Tottenham result, and in any case I had already given up on the whole business before the game, as I said last time. Plus, it has been a stressful and tiring week, what with having a significant birthday to face up to last Sunday, and all the fuss that accompanied it, which went on right up to Wednesday night, and then asking the questions at the quiz (see below) on Monday, and then assimilating the Awful Truth throughout all this; I have been quite worn out, I can tell you.

Anyway, also on the BBC but on the rather better-written Scottish football pages this morning, comes the news that after the mysterious business in the SPL where the league fixtures come to a stop, the table divides in half and the two halves then start a kind of mini league (is it?), Dunfermline's defeat in Inverness yesterday means that they go down. Unlike Mr Davies of Derby, Dunfermline manager Stephen Kenny is not pleased, the BBC tells us. Indeed, he is registering 'disbelief'.

Well, that is slightly more worth reporting than just not being pleased, though how you can be experiencing disbelief when you were at the bottom of the table with two games left is a puzzle; I mean he must have sort of seen it coming, as I did about Charlton well before the Tottenham game.

Anyway, Mr Kenny was philosophical: "Relegation has consequences for everybody, but we just have to accept it and come straight back up," he said, thus providing me with the elusive 'hook', without which I am not otherwise inspired to write anything much.

For there has been a lot of this kind of thing, though it is quite customary at the end of seasons. You don't get all that many relegated managers saying things like: "well, there you are, we've been absolute rubbish all season, and we're going to have our work cut out to stay up next season as well". True though it might be in some cases.

Just look - first off, there was Watford's Mr Boothroyd, whose club was one of the first confirmed casualties, saying they'd be back; which they might be, as it could be argued, much as happened with Charlton in 1999, that they have been promoted too soon and are yet to come really good.

Then of course there was the news that Leeds United will be playing in the third division tier of English football for the first time in their history, and again, Dennis Wise and various other people involved have been saying that they will come straight back. My own friends and acquaintances who are Leeds fans, including our beloved landlady and Antony, have been largely tight-lipped about the whole thing, but I did manage to glean from Antony that he thinks that a good way for Leeds to make a start on coming back would be to ditch Dennis Wise, with which I cannot but agree.

And what of Charlton? I hear you cry. Well in terms of how I feel, disappointment, certainly, but Frankie and many of the usual suspects have pointed out that if we aren't good enough to stay up, then even if the Prem were to dock loads of points from West Ham (though that is too late to benefit Charlton now) then this would only mean another miserable season of travelling up to the north west and being thumped. Better to retrench, have an enjoyable time in the Championship, and give the fans something to feel pleased about, and maybe come straight back, though there'd be little point in coming straight back unless Charlton were likely to be good enough to make a go of it, though of course there are always the financial considerations.

And that is also the point: coming straight back implies the same team, or hopefully a better one, but some of the Charlton squad, notably Dennis Rommedahl, are on record as saying that they couldn't possibly demean themselves by playing for a non-Premiership side and will be off. Where they think they are off to, and why they regard relegation as something that happened to them, rather than something caused by them, and which they might have a duty to put right, is a mystery, though.

My friends have been quite supportive with me around my birthday, and have also been supportive over Charlton's relegation, which happened at more or less the same time, what a present! Many of them have told me that they suppose Darren Bent will be off, and indeed he might, though the word at the moment is that he would like to stay at Charlton, where he is very happy. But in the end it will be a matter of finance.

And so with Charlton about to take the field for their last-ever visit to Anfield, barring an away cup-tie next season, as I yet again delay cooking my lunch to get to the end of a blog piece, I can only say that there are too many imponderables. But let me remind you that when Pards was appointed back in the bleak midwinter, Charlton were several points adrift at the very bottom of the table, and I even wrote a piece which assumed relegation and queried the likelihood of Darren staying on, and of Charlton bouncing back, at the time. So thanks to Pards and Phil, there has been a revival, and a lot of improvement. Pards has an excellent record in running successful second-tier sides, and in my view ought never to have been kicked out of West Ham, so I suppose I am looking forward to an enjoyable season in 07-08, with a lot of good wins home and away, and more successful trips to the north, though of course if they only manage a draw when they go to Turf Moor, I shan't mind all that much.

While Charlton were going down to Tottenham at The Valley on Monday, the fates had decreed that once again I'd be in the pub basement asking quiz questions. Unbeknown to me, they had also decreed that there would be two extra teams made up of colleagues from work, whom I had innocently supposed to be interested in trying out the quiz, but in fact who were there to make me a surprise presentation and sing "Happy Birthday". They chose to do this just as I was about to start asking the questions, which I find slightly stressful at the best of times. I therefore feel that in my role as question master, I may have been a trifle impatient, not to say harsh, with some of the usual barracking that quizmasters have to put up with from one or two elements. If I have caused offence in certain quarters, may I be allowed to apologise? But I was quite stressed out, as we say nowadays. And when are you going to bring Gitte back?

Quiz this coming week is Tuesday night, as Monday is what is called a 'víspera', i.e. the eve of a public holiday - yes yet another; it is Madrid's patron saint, S. Isidro, this time. See you there.